Who needs wrapping paper?

Children can sometimes do things that you would never see coming in like a million years. This is one of them. Years back we only had only the 3 boys. I was working out of town and my husband working shift work. My youngest son had a birthday party to go to one day. I was working late and their dad was working that night. I had bought the present for the party and was planning on wrapping it before work but forgot. My son called asking where I had left the present. I explained that it was still in the bag and I had forgot to wrap it. I keep the wrapping paper in a standard place. I proceeded to tell him where it was and tell him how to wrap it. What is the worst thing that can happen? A big tape ball, crinkled paper, maybe a rip that you can see the present threw. Okay I look like a failure of a mom but I figure I can live through this. I was blindsided by what happened. I called later to check and make sure he had wrapped the present. When he said yes I assumed all was well. HOW BADLY COULD HE HAVE WRAPPED THIS PRESENT? Don't ask! The party was down the street. When I came home he was still at the party. Later when he came home he was carrying his pillow case. (this will become a vital star of this story real soon) I asked about the party, what the child got and the dared ask how did the wrapping go? WHY DID I ASK?? He said great! Whew I was saved. So I asked him which paper he had chosen. Bad! Bad! Why did you ask? He said "Oh mom that looked too hard so I just put it in my pillowcase." YES HIS PILLOW CASE. Not a clean one, his used dirty one, the one that could stand alone. No way it was a joke. Lol Okay really what did you use? There it was in all it's glory the nasty pillow case. I could see it. The table loaded with brightly colored presents and then the rank pillow case. What could the mom do? I can see her asking why his pillow was on the table. My mother of the year award nomination would never come now. My chances at becoming the next Martha Stewart gone ended by one stinking (no pun intended) pillow case. Thank goodness this mom wasn't one I knew well. I still can only imagine what she must have thought of me. From that point on I kept gift bags around just in case.

Daddy I have a mackachonie in my nose!

Grand kid stories are my favorite. Gotta make sure all of them make it to my blog. This granddaughter has never stuck anything up here nose that I am aware of. So here's how the story goes. She's eating dinner, her dad has company over and is cooking. She comes to him and says "Daddy I have a mackachonie in my nose". He looks up her nose and sees nothing. FYI macaroni is kinda flesh color in the nose. Thinking she is just wanting attention he sends her back to eat. Few minutes later he notices she is just sitting there looking like she is pouting. So he asks here what's wrong. She firmly replies " I HAVE A MACKACHONIE IN MY NOSE!" So again he proceeds to check up her nose. Finally he sees a faint something, gets a flashlight and sure enough there is a noodle in her nose. Now the fun part how do you get it out? He finally extracts it with long tweezers. Somehow, I think she has learned her lesson which place the mac and cheese fits best.

Her name shall be Squatlow

Blog is taking a different turn. Had to leave out of blogging the Daniel fast to spent time with God. Blog will now continue as normal. Follow and enjoy my daily humor.
Today's post.......
Here's the background. My 2 year old granddaughter is going to be a big sister in May. This child amazes everyone how smart she it. So I knew her parents had been talking about names so one day while she was staying with us last week I thought I would get the 411 on what they were tossing around. So I slyly asked so... what is your new sisters name going to be? NEVER I REPEAT NEVER ASK A 2 YEAR OLD THIS QUESTION WHILE EATING. (obviously I was) She answered with out any change in normal tone "Spot". So after rolling in laughter and being close to needing someone to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me I repeated my question surely she had misunderstood me. To my surprise she had understood my question and repeated "Spot". I laughed so hard tears began to roll from my eyes. She never did understand the humor. Sooo... my son who always looks for a way to give me a hard time is going to have a daughter named Spot. I am poised to get a good one in on him. Just wait till he comes to pick her up and I get to have a laugh on him.
I can't wait he barely walks in and we talk for a few minutes. Then I aim for my target. "So tonight I found out what you guys are planning to name the new baby. Tell daddy what you told Grams is going to be the new baby's name?" Out of nowhere she says "SQUAT LOW" Where did that come from? Then my son says yep that's what she has been calling her. They have no idea why. I explained that she had told me Spot. Foiled by a 2 year old!!! Like father like daughter. Man am I in trouble.
So I wonder why the new baby is being called Squat low? Ok, my granddaughter does have an Indian card. Does she think the baby needs an Indian name? Has she misunderstood the name her parents are thinking about? Then it hits me, she is going to be a BIG SISTER, THE FIRSTBORN. She is putting her lil sis in her place before she is born. So for now her name shall be Squat low.